Stewart has been a professional actress since she was 9, and throughout her teens and into her early 20s, she struggled with what she describes as “debilitating physical anxiety.” But the attention that comes with fame, while still occasionally frenetic, “is no longer negative or fear-based,” Stewart says. “I do think that’s because of the storms I have weathered. It’s not that they make you stronger or calloused — but they do make you a human.”
“I’m not the typical showman,” she adds, curling her feet up under her legs and reaching for another cigarette. “But at the same time, I want so badly to expose myself. I want to be understood and I want to be seen, and I want to do that in the rawest, purest, most naked way I can.”
If that impulse wasn’t clear during the “Twilight” years it’s because, she says, “People wanted me and Rob to be together so badly that our relationship was made into a product. It wasn’t real life anymore. And that was gross to me. It’s not that I want to hide who I am or hide anything I’m doing in my life. It’s that I don’t want to become a part of a story for entertainment value.”
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